Internal Family Systems Therapy Helps You Live With More Clarity, Compassion, Courage & Ease

Do you wonder if unresolved trauma is causing distress in some, or all, aspects of your life? Perhaps you experience anxiety, depression or both and want to find ways to mitigate uncomfortable symptoms. Or maybe you feel scared, worried, powerless, unworthy and/or fatigued. You might wonder why life often seems to feel harder for you than it does for other people and why you struggle so much with work, in relationships or with trying to cultivate and sustain feelings of self-worth, self-confidence and self-love. 

Maybe you feel stuck and don’t know what you want or how to feel, particularly if there are “parts” of you that seem to want and need different things. A significant life transition, such as an end of a relationship, career change, a death or other loss may have you rethinking who you are and what you really want and need in your relationships, work life and within yourself. Or, it could be that you want to feel more confident and creative and develop the clarity and insight needed to take your life to the next level. 

Whether there is a specific problem that is creating distress or you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, unfulfilled or confused in general, working with an Internal Family Systems therapist can help. IFS therapy is designed to help you understand, explore and befriend all parts of yourself and formulate a strong sense of Self so that you can heal from past traumas and move into a state of wholeness and ease. 

You Are Not Alone  

We live in a complicated world that often feels chaotic, scary and uncertain. Many—if not all—of us are walking around with unresolved trauma that can cause us to feel powerless, scared, anxious, unworthy, sad and stuck, and there are very few of us that enter into adulthood free from wounding. 

With so many moving parts, ups and downs, and life transitions, it’s not uncommon to feel lost and disconnected from ourselves; however, rather than being curious about our experience and compassionate with ourselves, most of us come from a place of judgment, engage in perfectionism or self-sabotage, and compare ourselves to others, usually coming up short. 

We may feel scattered and even at odds with ourselves, with a part of us wanting to go one way and other parts of us wanting something totally different, which can further our confusion and create even more disconnection from the innate wholeness of ourselves. 

Understanding Internal Family Systems Therapy 

Internal family systems (IFS) therapy is a compassionate, highly effective approach to psychotherapy that helps to identify, explore and address a variety of issues, including life stressors and transitions, various mental health issues and, most notably, trauma. 

The foundation of IFS therapy is based on the understanding that within all people there exist multiple parts, kind of like a fruit salad, an orchestra, or a gathering around a conference table. The parts are all important, but none alone makes up the entity. 

Most of us understand this intuitively. For instance, have you had moments when one “part” of you wants to do something, yet another “part” of you wants something very different? 

This is what Dr. Richard Schwartz, originally a marriage and family therapist, discovered in the early 1980s when he noticed that his clients were unable to make positive shifts in treatment because “parts” of them were getting in the way.  Learning from his clients, Dr. Schwartz found that, much like in a family system that is composed of multiple members (parts), we also all have various parts inside of each of us that perform different roles in our lives. Our parts can often be in conflict with each other, and a multiplicity of parts are found within every person, healthy or unhealthy, and can include roles like managers, firefighters and exiles. 

All of these parts—many of which were developed in early childhood—tend to carpementalize and think that they are alone, but they aren’t alone, and they need to know that. By forming a conscious relationship between Self (think the orchestra leader) and the varying parts, individual parts can stop feeling scared and like they need to manage, protect, flee, fight, numb, etc. The trauma and pain that each part carries can transform, and emotional, physical and spiritual healing can occur. 

Connecting With The Self  

Once a person could acknowledge, appreciate and differentiate from his/her/their “internal family” of parts, Dr. Schwartz found that a strange and wonderful thing happened: they would experience a sense of calm and spaciousness that felt grounded, safe and hopeful. Dr. Schwartz came to call this experience the “Self,” and found that when people are able to access their Self-energy they experience qualities known as the 8 C’s of Self-energy and 5 P’s of IFS therapy. 

The 8 C’s of IFS Self-energy

• Calmness – being able to access a state of peace and rest from stress
• Curiosity – a genuine interest in non-judgmentally understanding something or someone
• Clarity – the ability to perceive situations accurately without extreme beliefs and emotions
• Compassion – to be open- heartedly present and appreciative of others
• Confidence – a belief in one’s ability to stay fully present in a situation – “I can handle this.”
• Courage – bravery to face vulnerability
• Creativity – playfulness, imagination and ingenuity
• Connectedness – a state in which we are present to other people, creatures, the earth, or God.

The 5 P’s of IFS Self-leadership

• Presence 
• Patience
• Perspective
• Persistence
• Playfulness

Dr. Schwartz also found that when people were connected with their essence—their Self—they became able to bring hope and healing to traumatized, anxious and hurting parts, and all parts of the person were non-judgmentally welcomed for the roles they play in the person’s internal family system. When parts feel unconditionally loved and welcomed, they are able to release and transform heavy emotion, such as shame, guilt, fear, anger and more, which leads to healing and wholeness. 

My Approach To Internal Family Systems Therapy 

At its essence, I see IFS therapy as a wonderful process of engaging in deep self-exploration and self-reclamation. The IFS model facilitates a freeing of all the parts within each of us that are stuck in trauma and enables us to create new experiences, new neural pathways and new ways of being with ourselves and within the world. A common mantra in IFS Therapy is that there are “No Bad Parts.”  In sessions, all parts are validated for their intended roles and feelings within the system. When we’re able to step back and visit all parts of ourselves with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment, our parts are able to transform and deep holistic healing—mental, emotional, physical and even spiritual—begins to occur. 

I believe that trust is what builds the foundation of any successful relationship—especially the relationship we have with ourselves—and that we all want and need to be in relationships in which we feel safe. As your IFS therapist, it’s my role to provide you with a safe place for you to do this important work and for you to feel heard, seen, valued and supported along the way. It’s also important that as our work progresses, you become increasingly able to trust yourself, which is the ultimate game changer. When we begin to trust ourselves, a whole new world opens up and we’re able to live with more freedom and in radically different ways. Anchored within yourself, you may begin to see yourself embodying the 8 C’s and 5 P’s listed above instead of living from a place of confusion, shame or fear. 

Rather than advising you on what you should do to feel better, as many forms of therapy instruct therapists to do, the healing that occurs through internal family systems therapy happens organically, intuitively and with fluidity. We work collaboratively to connect with your already wise and capable Self as you engage your innate wisdom for healing. Through asking your parts intentional questions with my guidance and support, your varying parts will begin to feel heard, seen and validated. Together, we gently get to the underbelly of what’s causing the dysregulation and pain, understanding what each part of you needs to feel safe, exploring any feelings and sensations that arise in the process, and moving through the process at a pace that feels right for you. As these parts of you feel safer and safer, activated systems begin to relax, and healing trauma and getting unstuck from experiences such as anxiety, depression, grief and loss can occur in beautiful and empowering ways.

I am warm, compassionate and gentle, although I am also practical and can be direct. I am also deeply intuitive and highly attuned to you and your needs in sessions, gently helping you access your innate wisdom and extraordinary capacity for healing. I meet you where you are, tailoring sessions to address what is present for you at the moment. I’ll be there with you—and all of your parts—as we welcome, explore and address what comes up and what wants and needs to be healed so that you can begin feeling and living with more ease, connection and meaning in all aspects of your life.

In tandem with IFS, we can also weave in EMDR therapy, Sandplay Therapy, somatic healing and spiritual work into our sessions, if any or all of those approaches feel welcoming to you. 

You Can Live With More Clarity, Creativity, Courage & Connection  

Over 19 years as a therapist, I’ve trained in and worked with a multitude of modalities, and have never encountered a more effective approach to sustainable health and healing than IFS Therapy. It truly is a game changer for both clients and therapists. This modality gently, but powerfully creates new possibilities and opens pathways to authenticity, creativity and wholeness for individuals, families and communities. 

If you’re in the Littleton, CO area for in-person sessions or in Colorado for telehealth visits and are interested in IFS, I invite you to call me at 720-432-1403 or email counseling@susansmithlpc.com to schedule a complimentary call. I’m happy to talk with you about your therapy needs and goals and to answer any questions you have about IFS therapy and my practice. 

For more in depth information about IFS therapy, the Self, and different types of parts, I highly encourage you to read Evolution of The Internal Systems Model By Dr. Richard Schwartz, Ph.D. And, for even more information, I highly recommend Dr. Schwartz’s book on IFS, No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model and Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model. You can also click here to learn more about IFS Therapy – https://ifs-institute.com